A Wisdom Born of Pain
by Shadowblayze
Summary: Aerith found it amusing that she had learned more about herself since she had passed on to the Lifestream than she had during her couple of decades of living.
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Aerith found it amusing that she had learned more about herself since she had passed on to the Lifestream than she had during her couple of decades of living.

While it would be forgivable that one might have assumed that Aerith had sort of accomplished her happily-ever-after when she met up with her dearly missed Zack in the Lifestream; that was not _exactly_ what had happened. She loved Zack. She would always love Zack. She loved Cloud, too. Even though the blond had only really remembered how to fully be himself after being spat out of the Lifestream near Mideel, Aerith had grown quite attached to the adorably grumpy blond man that she had gotten to know before her untimely demise.

The issue was not that she loved both men. Not really.

Aerith had spent _ages_ watching Zack watch Cloud from the Lifestream before she had finally began to doubt the exact nature of the love she held for both men. Zack had tried to hide it from her, but he was only a spirit who held enough S-Cells to keep himself separate from the greater flow of the Lifestream- she was the Planet's final guardian.

The Lifestream was her _domain_. Her playground.

Thus began Aerith's journey of self-discovery from beyond the grave. By the time she had properly separated out her feelings, however, she came to realize something. It had taken some deep introspection and several conversations that had been more than just a little uncomfortable between the two former flames, but eventually Aerith had admitted the truth to herself.

Aerith loved Zack and Cloud as _Zack-and-Cloud_.

They were her brothers, her protectors, her platonic soulmates, and her fierce champions when she felt ready to give up. But Aerith no longer wished to be with either man as a lover- though she was not above some aesthetic appreciation. They were both devastatingly handsome men.

However, in her incessant stalking of the two while coming to this conclusion, Aerith discovered the person her heart called out for as her _partner_.

 _Tifa Lockhart_.

The first time Aerith slipped into Tifa's dreams had been shortly after she came to this realization- it had been an accident. However, the Planet- Gaia- worked in ways that were oftentimes foreign to even Aerith.

Why allow Aerith to visit Tifa's dreams and not Cloud's? When Cloud needed Aerith's assurances of forgiveness the most?

Tifa and Aerith spent long nights pondering the conundrum. Tifa- and Aerith once Tifa explained- hesitated at telling Cloud about the dreams. Tifa explained that she feared he would take Aerith's absence in his own dreams as a sign of his 'unworthiness' or 'guilt' instead of listening to Aerith's actual messages. Aerith had huffed and pouted but had ultimately agreed. For the next few nights she and Tifa had bonded over their deep desire to see Cloud happy, which had subsequently devolved into Aerith sharing stories of how utterly miserable Zack was, stuck in the Lifestream and unable to help Cloud truly heal.

Amidst the long conversations of how they wanted their men to be happy, Aerith and Tifa came to deeply care for each other. It took many fits and false starts for the two women to admit their mutual feelings as both women were fiercely loyal to the men they loved and had their own feelings of guilt for feeling the way they did.

Tifa might have only known Zackary Fair mostly indirectly, but Zack had saved Cloud, had tried to prevent her hometown from burning and he had died trying to get comatose Cloud to Midgar. Tifa respected the _hell_ out of the man, even if she had, personally, barely known him.

Aerith- _Gaia_ where did she start? Zack had been wonderful, she would have married him. She had written him _hundreds_ of letters even after his disappearance. Then Cloud had come along and while he was different he had filled the ache that Zack had left and had given her courage. Cloud carried so much guilt for her death- for Zack's death- and Aerith just wanted to shake him sometimes and tell him that everything that had gone wrong _was not his fault_.

Over time Tifa and Aerith worked through that guilt and their relationship hesitantly inched forward. It was weird- because Aerith was dead and Tifa had no plans of leaving Cloud alone any time soon- but lingering touches inside a dream world filled with flowers only fueled their heart's desires for something _more_. For as solid as Aerith's form was, she was still a spirit- an apparition- while Tifa was warm and alive, even inside a world of dreams.

It had been particularly trying for Aerith in the aftermath of the Deepground incidents. In between moments of impending doom Aerith watched Zack as Zack watched Cloud with the same sort of longing that Aerith now watched Tifa.

"This is _ridiculous_!" Aerith growled with frustrated longing as she paced in her own little clearing.

 _We concur_. The words were not so much spoken as they were exhaled. Whisper soft but managing to fill the entire clearing with a definitive sort of power that did not originate from the Lifestream.

Aerith's head came up and she gazed at the images of the goddess Minerva and Gaia's humanoid form in shock. "My Ladies." She murmured as she sank to her knees and respectfully bowed her head.

There was the strangest sense of delighted laughter before Aerith sensed, more than heard, permission for her to raise her head.

Minerva had not visited the Lifestream since Aerith's tenure as the final guardian had begun, but Aerith had heard stories of the great and terrible goddess from her ancestors. According to Cetra lore her people had come into being from Minerva, before Gaia and the Lifestream had been born.

Minerva's hair was blonde- flaxen, if Aerith needed to name an exact shade- though, the way the light seemed to bend around the being seemed to make the shade seem especially vivid. The golden armor and elegant spear she held lent the appearance of a fierce warrior, highlighting Minerva's exceptionally pale skin, though the light in her eyes was nearly unbearably gentle as she observed Aerith. Minerva's crown was edged with a royal purple and the gem in the middle reminded Aerith strongly of the shade of a fully matured Materia.

Gaia took the appearance of a dark-skinned- the same shade as the soil that had been inside the church, Aerith noted idly- woman with eyes the color of the Canyon's sands, draped in a sort of off-the-shoulder woven grass dress that fell just short of her knees in the front and trailed to the ground behind her. There were small, dark green vines wrapped around her arms, littered with small buds. The thin straps of her bronze flat, woven sandals crept up her legs and disappeared under her dress. Gaia's hair was stone grey and white, the separately colored strands mixed together and twisted up into an elegant knot, accentuating the seafoam greenish-blue colored headdress, leaving her bangs to frame her face. Small Materia-like orbs were attached to her hanging strands.

Both women were striking in their own way. Dangerous, immutable yet kind and compassionate at the same time.

 _We have decided._ The words once again exhaled into the space between yet filling the clearing with their weightiness. Tifa's form suddenly came into existence next to Aerith, the other women sinking down to her knees beside Aerith, though her red-brown gaze stayed affixed on the two beings before her.

Aerith reached out and grabbed ahold of Tifa's hand, surprised but puzzled when she could actually _feel_ the well-worn leather of Tifa's glove against her ethereal palm.

 _Sister. Daughter. Treasured._ The smiles on the faces of the two beings warmed even as the surroundings became unstable. The customarily calm clearing developing cracks and raining down shards of Lifestream all around the party.

 _Beloved_.

Then Aerith fell asleep, her hand still clutched tightly to Tifa's leather-clad one.

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End file.
